Moving is stressful for just about everyone, but it is especially difficult for the older adult. The relocating person may have lived in his or her home for several decades or a lifetime, reared children there, and shared it with a beloved partner. The home is likely filled with items with a strong emotional attachment. A reluctance to leave is understandable, and you may find the situation emotionally challenging as well, particularly when a parent leaves the home you grew up in. Helping your older loved one make this transition requires empathy, patience, and good planning.

Try to understand the range of emotions your loved one may be feeling. The prospect of leaving a place filled with memories can trigger sadness, anger, anxiety, loneliness, and fear. This is not merely a transition from one physical location to another, it is the closing of a significant chapter in your loved one’s life. Give him or her the time to grieve and accept this.

Once your loved one has begun to accept the move, start sorting through the household items. Get a copy of the floor plan of the new place to see where furniture will fit. With your loved one, make an inventory of belongings, divided into the following categories:

Break this process down into small steps if possible and, when you have time, ask the person to share the history of the most cherished possessions. This honors the emotional aspect of this major life transition and is interesting as well.

Dealing with the items to be discarded, given to charity, or sold takes planning. Discarded furniture and other large items may only be picked up on certain days or you may need to transport them to the dump. If a lot of items are being discarded, you may need to hire a dumpster. Check with the sanitation department in your relative’s community.

You may want to consider hiring someone to help. You can engage a professional clean-out service or an estate sale company. In addition, local charities may pick up large donations. Your Work/Life program can give you referrals to these and other helpful organizations and services.

You may want to consider hiring a senior-move manager – a person who specializes in helping older adults with relocation. Among other things, this person can help with planning, arrange for the distribution of possessions, and assist with home buying and selling. To find a senior-move manager, contact the National Association of Senior Move Managers at www.nasmm.org.  

Before the move, label boxes with instructions about where items go in the new residence. Try to put them in similar locations as in the old residence – it will make the new surroundings feel more familiar.

Try to arrange it so your loved one can move into the new home before the old one is emptied out. He or she may realize that some items at the old place are still needed.

Remember that you and your loved one can always access help with the emotional aspects of the transition through your EAP.