The year from which we emerge would be best described in pictures in order to fully capture the tragedies of a pandemic and other distressing events. It was a year in which we struggled with the tension between living a full life or becoming ill; we yearned for simple freedoms while managing fears. Hundreds of thousands of people were touched in 2020 by the death of a loved one. They end their year with heavy, tender hearts.
There was also inspiration, action, and courage in 2020. Across generations, people began long-overdue discussions about racial inequities and violence against Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. People of all ages found ways to express their commitment to systemic changes. Scientists worked tirelessly to defy odds and create a vaccine before 2021. Essential workers continue to summon incredible courage to serve our needs, each and every day.
We adapted, and we also learned about ourselves. Physical distancing taught us how much we cherish connection. When in-person memorial services were discontinued, we created online communities to honor and celebrate loved ones. When recreational events became unavailable, we got curious and sought new activities and interests to spark some light within us. At times, we retreated with books and TV shows, giving ourselves time to simply be still. We dusted off old board games or played online trivia – discovering characteristics of family members we had not seen before. Parents persevered and learned to teach 8th grade algebra, sometimes through tears, while simultaneously tending to their work responsibilities.
There are still weighty challenges upon us as we leave 2020, and we might carry them around like invisible luggage while we eagerly look toward 2021. There is certainly great sadness, yet there is also renewal and promise with the coming of a new year. Please imagine that the new year is inviting you toward it with your hope and your strength. And, at the same time, a question floats to you like a snowflake into your hand: How will you generate hope in this new year?
Our understanding of hope is as diverse as what can spark it. Hope has been called powerful medicine by some surgeons. People describe it as an innate quality, a part of one’s temperament, or a positive mindset that happens when you pay attention to certain experiences. Others say that it comes from the belief that everything always changes, and we can expect something different tomorrow while we surf life’s waves today. People have also described hope as “feeling seen and heard”, “loving myself”, “my faith”, “observing children at play” and many more examples. This variety teaches us that hope can be generated in countless ways.
If hope feels far away from you at this moment, challenge yourself to use two of the following ideas to cultivate hope:
- Practice self-compassion & acceptance to clear space for possibilities. These practices help release us from past events and from unhelpful thinking patterns. When you practice self-compassion and acceptance, it is like tending the soil for a garden to grow.
- Set an intention to look for kindness, openness, creativity, and innovation within your family, social circles, work team, and community. For example, when we receive, give, or observe kindness, we are brought right into the present moment where goodness resides. Savor such moments and remind yourself that millions of similar acts are happening around the globe at that same moment.
- Seek wonder by shifting focus to the arts, science, the environment, faith communities, or whatever creates for you a powerful sense of a new perspective. It is like changing from a zoom lens to a wide-angle lens. For example, nature shows us the amazing life force within all varieties of living organisms. Great art reflects talent that can seem beyond our understanding. These are just two ways to rediscover awe.
- Allow yourself to experience unpleasant feelings, including grief for loved ones and for other losses, such as the freedoms, rituals, and routines that used to tie your daily life together. Although we are tempted to push uncomfortable feelings aside, naturally allowing those feelings frees up energy and helps you to bear losses while also seeing potential in the future.
- Invite optimists into your weekly routine of social connection, for they offer a different perspective with energy that has forward momentum. People who are both realistic and positive tend to remember achievements and translate those into a belief that there will be brighter days.
- Ground yourself in knowledge of your own history and that of others. Information helps place today into a context of the long arc of time. Reflect on how you have persevered through tough times and read about how others have overcome incredible crises. Rest in the knowledge that you are equipped, right now, to endure and thrive.
Perhaps the experience of feeling hope is about holding the vision that no matter what happens, we will find meaning despite difficult times. Given all the unique circumstances that you have had to bear in 2020, consider dropping the habitual new year’s resolutions “to be better” or “to do better”. You are enough and worthy just as you are. Place attention instead on what brings you a sense of meaning, wonder, or peace. Hope will follow.
